she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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