BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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