im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
