I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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