Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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