so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize