Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
