Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
