Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
