You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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