please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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