Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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