friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
