Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Shame is for Republicans.
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