ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am available for nakedness
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
