Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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