The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My pussy is not your playground.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
