the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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