who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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