You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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