dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
