yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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