Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
