She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
