your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
