the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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