I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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