she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
