question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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