You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
