he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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