my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
