when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
