i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They took my balls.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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