Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's never too late to be topless.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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