Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Less talking, more tequila
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
