did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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