I heard we made out
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
