They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
