the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize