Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
