whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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