Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
