he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
