help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
