Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
