we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
