a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
