The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
