Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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