Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
