pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
