i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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