I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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