every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
