This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
