I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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