haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
