Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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