Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
