tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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