I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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