Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
