brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's Friday. Sex?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
