Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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