I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
